Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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