hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
