Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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