He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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