scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
