Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
