We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Fuck appropriateness.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i just sent this text using only my big toe
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
