Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize