Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
