Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
