at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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