sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I understand Curling. That high.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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