didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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