There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
