He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
