real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
