Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you traded sex for a burrito?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Randomize
