Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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