VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
