ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
