Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
