who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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