How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
