how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize