Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
