Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
