My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
