just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
