your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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