Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
