It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
