i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
