and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
