yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
it's great music for shaving your balls
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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