You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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