I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
