I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
