im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize