She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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