ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
