I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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