yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize