Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
