if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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