It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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