What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
