I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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