you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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