Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
