I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize