her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
His hands were made for my vagina.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
