Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
