i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
