READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
