Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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