The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
