if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize