made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He felt like a one man threesome
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize