you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
