I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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