addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
If I die, sorry about rent.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
