Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
