Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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