I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
