In the future we'll all be gay
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
