More tranny stories later!
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
