I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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