i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
