You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
