$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
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