Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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