i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
