Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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