he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
