happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
