is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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