No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
