I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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