We should be called the Road Head Warriors
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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