some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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