you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
